What Love is.....not!

My 12 year old friend ‘fell in love’. She thought he was her everything and in her dreams, even got married to him. Love obviously wasn’t what they felt. Her heart broke. Crying continuously for days and then dipping her face into foundation to cover the dark circles became routine for her. When she wasn’t doing either of the two, she would call me and ask me what love was (ya right! Like I am a walking thesaurus!)

My thinking buds were awakened. After thinking a lot and a little more, I realised that I, too didn’t know what love was. But I had a faint idea of what love was not!

Love is not ‘never having to say sorry’. It’s quite the opposite. It means learning to say you are sorry when you are wrong (if you are a man, then even when you are right!) It’s not romantic candlelight dinners because candles leave many messy blobs on expensive tablecloth. It also isn’t automatically eternal as wise men have claimed. In fact, to make it last, one will have to put in a great deal of work, not in bed, but in utterly unromantic places such as kitchens and bathrooms.

Love is not what makes the world go round. That’s gravity. If you are getting dizzy spells, do not mistake yourself to be in love. Just consult a neurologist.

It’s also not what we see in the movies. In reel life, there are songs and dances after which the hard work, complications and messy bits start surfacing before they are magically solved. In real life, however, these complications do not disappear. They tend to generally get tougher and messier.

Love is not canoodling on the sea-face rocks. That’s hormones. And the moral police. Cheap thrills can be exciting, yes, but they can also be expensive. Because if the constable doesn’t get you, the rising tide might.

What I know is that love is wonderful. It may not be the hottest thing around, but it is warm. It is not something as exotic as passion but something as ordinary as caring and as boring as respect. It also involves a good usage of the heart and the head (yes, both! It can be demanding, you know!)

Love is not about diamonds but it is about what the diamonds signify. They start as a lump of coal, but require loads of time and energy and lots of cuts and bruises to bring out the sparkle. Love actually is like that only.

On contemplation, understanding rocket science or solving the Kashmir problem would have been easier.

The New Essential

Swimming hasn’t been one of my strongest points ever. But I could always move around well, so well that I would often hear motivating words from my family like “Good job, Priyam”, “Way to go girl, you can stop clinging on to the float. You have one tied to your waist already!” and “You are almost ready to get out of the kids’ pool”

I think the most important thing to do once you are in water is to float. And I can do that very well. For hours. If there’s no hole in my raft.

As I watch the news, especially during the monsoons, I realise that swimming is a vital skill. There’s a case of drowning every alternate day. Some fall out of the boats, some get caught in the floods, some fisherman sadly get trapped in the sea-storm and some get drunk and think their cars are submarines.

Every year, we have the monsoons and every year we are hit by massive floods. Swimming is the ‘in’ thing. You don’t need to join classes for practice. In some parts of Mumbai like Kalina or Juhu, you just need to step out of your house and wait for the rain. I don’t proclaim that this skill will always prevent you from drowning, but the risk sure is cut down.

Flooding is no longer a novelty in India and I speak for Mumbai. Come June, all the men in Juhu area start wrapping up their television sets and the women start assembling the chairs on the table while the children pack up their toys and video games for an emergency exit. But sometimes we are lucky. The water only reaches the shoulder level and it’s possible to walk to a higher ground carrying the TV set on our head. In other cases, the water is pretty high and we find ourselves perched on a tree top desperately looking out for the most popular guy around – the one with the boat.

Therefore, my tip for the day - practise swimming. Sharpen your skill. Or you are going down. Literally.

Thank God for subtlety!

One of my very dear friends changed his relationship status from 'committed' to 'single'. (Yes, on Facebook, where else?!) Soon he was hoarded with comments filling up the first three-quarters of his profile page.

“Aww... its ok”
“Don’t worry; this phase will also pass”
“Cheer up dude, u nice guy, u will get someone again very soon: )”
“Too bad...I wil give ya a ring, we’ll talk”
“Oye buddy, I m sure u'll need a drink to get over it. Enigma? Tonight? Buzz me”
“No problem, u lost one..u will get many more..cheerz”

Philosophy seems to be falling out of the sky all of a sudden. (I mean, c’mon, Facebookers.....philosophy....like ya right!) So anyway, all feedback in some way or the other shrieked out “Get a life sucker. Accept it that you are a loser, stop sulking so we can go and make other ‘single’ people feel miserable.”

Thank God for subtlety!

Since when did ‘being single’ become a sad phenomenon? Exactly when did it start meaning “A fire jet just hit my ass. I am burnt and devastated. Come, console me”? Does ‘committed’, ‘in a relationship’ or ‘seeing someone’ guarantee happiness? Or the fire jet to hit your rear?

Whatever happened to

“Congrats babe, let's celebrate with a drink or 5. You made the right choice!” or
“Welcome to singledom. Now you don’t need to take your laptop inside the blanket to watch football!”

What happened to celebrating the choices we make in life?