Friday, December 14, 2012
FB...and other drugs
Monday, November 19, 2012
Something so ordinary...
Friday, November 9, 2012
Sunday, October 28, 2012
-Theodore Roosevelt
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Romance goes Mobile
Whilst we were young, what terrified us the most about schools were the surprise spelling tests; terrified of being unprepared for it and messing up the spellings. Two decades hence and a world of a change later, spelling tests are still the most terrifying subject, this time for the teachers. With the ‘sms generation’ and the rapid increase in the ‘let’s-tell-the-world-every-damn-uninteresting-thing-I’m-doing-in-140-characters’ population, correct grammar and correct spellings have become an ancient concept.
I indulge a lot in sms, oh yes I do! I think it is the single most effective and inexpensive tool to be in touch with people (whom otherwise I wouldn’t want to be face-to-face with) According to some survey, about 4.5 crore smses are sent across daily, some across miles and others just a few meters.
Mother: “Y r u nt cming dwn fr diner swthrt...ur dad n I miss u”
Kid: “Crckt mtch goin on...wl cum soon”
If you had no trouble reading these words, then you, my friend, are addicted to smsing too. You are also a member of the organisation created to butcher English like never before. Membership is open to all. The requirements are pretty basic: forget spelling, forget punctuations, forget the lecture that your English teacher gave you when you said, “I am not understanding why grammar be important.”
Also, you can write anything in an sms and people will even make good meanings of your msg (message). But sometimes, it’s easily misunderstood too. Like when my friend wrote “u gv me lc”, her boyfriend proudly replied “I know, I always give people good luck!”, her confused aunt replied “I don’t remember when I gave you any lace” and I was simply apologetic “Oh my god! I am so sorry dear, I didn’t mean to give you lice!”
The character constraint even takes off your burden to type a lot many letters. What used to be “I love you so much” became “luv u so mch” to now a very simple “lv u”. Speaking of reducing the burden, the “Send To Many” option helps you from typing it over and over again to multiple recipients! Not just that, smses also give you all the privacy you need. You can effortlessly read messages from your girlfriend while doing something important, such as having dinner with your wife.
Having said enough, I love technology. It does wonders for me, with many of my close ones not staying in the same city as I do, I would be absolutely exhausted from visiting the mailbox every other day sending out handwritten letters. Instead, I have it all at my fingertip – phones, smses, emails and other such networking aids. So let me not push my sarcasm to that extent that Vodafone gets miffed with me and disconnects my number, so here’s to technology!!!
And it’s not all that bad. Smses actually have allowed couples to get more intimate, to break beyond the restraints their cultures and values have imposed upon them. Even a simple “thnkng abt u” brings a smile to a wife’s face, allowing her to feel closer to her husband and look forward to seeing him again, as soon as the Test series is over.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Survival of the Fittest, Redefined
I have often marveled at the thought of meeting a sane person hailing from a busy city like Mumbai and a crowded country like India. I didn’t realise it much till I actually opened my eyes and started taking notice of activities around me. Right from the morning when I wake up and not get water in the tap to the minute when I step out of my house to catch a bus to work to going to a trial room in a mall on a Sunday (or any other day of the week, it hardly makes any difference really) to watching a cricket match in the stadium to getting sweets from the shop on a non-festive day to even waiting for the elevator in my building to reach my home in the evening, I realised – I.Live.In.A.Very.Crowded.City!
So what is it like to live in a country of nearly 1.21 billion people, a country that’s one-third the size of Canada, yet has thirty times the population? What is it like to live in the second most populous country in the world, dangerously close to the first one being China and very far from the third one being United States of America? And to top it all, what is it like to live in the most populous city of India-Mumbai?!
It’s not that bad. Really. It’s not all that bad (as people think) even if you happen to be the last person on the bus. You can very well enjoy the view on the last step of the bus while hanging to the door and convince yourself that getting on the bus is much better than getting in the bus. Sure you cannot stretch your hands and your legs, sure you will be travelling with a few others on the outside of the bus, sure you will be grabbing on to whatever you can, be it the frame of the door or the next person’s shirt sleeve, but you will actually be one of those many who know what it means to “catch the bus”.
When you visit a doctor, the receptionist may be poor in grammar but she’s not incorrect when she asks, “Are you patient?”
It is a fact that Indians encounter crowds almost everywhere. With this sudden revelation, I marvel at how everybody is dealing with the immense population and its exaggerated growth of 10 million every year. So much that if rabbits would be having general meetings, they would use the phrase “breeding like Indians”.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
We’ve Only Just Begun....
Lately, I have been getting a feeling of uncontrollable anxiety. For no good reason, when I run into a boy and/or man, I start running in the other direction frantically with my hands raised in the air. I have also stopped functioning normally because I have noticed that I keep staring into my computer endlessly and even work slower than it does!
I gave going to the psychiatrist a thought, but learnt that the solution was at home. Because the problem was also there! My family worked on me and figured out that the symptoms I showed were of a troubled childhood.
The fear of marriage would be an exaggerated phrase. I am not afraid of it. I simply, I repeat, run in the opposite direction frantically with my hands raised up in the air. And not without reason. Let me explain from where I have developed the fear of the unknown (or the known, in this case)
Let’s give the reasons some names. For now, to make things simple, let’s hypothetically name them my mom, my dad, my bhabhi and my brother.
My mom and dad will soon celebrate their 30th anniversary. Yes, it’s been three whole decades since they stood in front of family and friends, looked into each other’s eyes and thought, “Who is this person?” After spending 30 years together and raising two children, at least one thing is clear, they still don’t know each other.
But theirs was an arranged marriage. What amuses me is that my brother and bhabhi, who arranged for a love marriage 2 years back, too, look at each other with the “Do I know you?” look.
And they sure don’t know each other. If they did, my bhabhi wouldn’t get annoyed whenever she finds my brother in his ill-fitting shorts on the couch on Sunday afternoon. If my dad knew my mom well, he wouldn’t be waiting patiently for her outside the mall when she is shopping. He would have simply rented a tow truck and used the hooks and chains to pull her out.
Despite not knowing each other, my mom and dad have somehow managed to stay married and together for 30 years. It may not be a big thing for those married for a good 50 years but it is truly amazing for my brother and bhabhi that they are still together. What is even more amazing for them is that my mom and dad still occasionally talk to each other.
It may sound a bit of an exaggeration but it’s not because just a month back, my brother and bhabhi spoke to each other. He asked, “Our anniversary is coming up. How do you want to celebrate it?” And she said, “I would like to try out the new Chinese restaurant in our neighbourhood. Do you want me to bring something home for you?”
My parents have been explaining the tricks of the trade to my brother and bhabhi whenever time permits. They revealed that the key to their successful marriage was my brother and me. Thanks to us, they never got to speak a lot to each other. With my brother and me being 10 and 6, at any given point of time one of us was singing and the other was screaming.
However, they also pointed out that with children around, they couldn’t have affectionate conversations. So they developed a special code (which they say happens very naturally during a marriage). Whenever mom wants to say “I love you”, she would say, “Are you watching your stupid CNBC again?” And whenever dad wants to say “I love you”, he would say, “So how many pairs of shoes do you need anyway?”
I must say, that my mom and my dad love each other tremendously, considering the number of times they have said it each day.
My mom and dad have evolved and matured slowly and gradually. Not like my brother and bhabhi. Two years into marriage and they are already able to communicate without saying a word to each other. For example, if my brother is on the couch watching a cricket match and a pumpkin lands on his head, he knows that my bhabhi needs help in the kitchen.
Marriage is all about special codes and romantic nothings. In spite of the bloodshed at home, my heart warms when I see my dad and brother feel incomplete, anxious, frenzied and clueless at a social function without their other halves by their side.
I guess, the brutality hidden underneath too has a special charm to it.
No wonder the Carpenters have said,
“We’ll find a place where there is room to grow...
...coz, we’ve only just begun...”