Wednesday, January 16, 2013

'Cook'ing up a story...



The Husband: My friend’s coming over this Saturday. Finally you guys will meet!
The Wife: Oh that’s awesome! Can’t wait! Finally I will see him in person rather than just talking on the phone with him.
The Husband: Yeah…so what are you going to make for dinner?
The Wife: Umm...can’t we go out for dinner? That will give us some time to actually talk.
The Husband: It would be nice if you make something at home. He should also know what a great wife and cook you are.
The Wife: *Frowns*
(The rest of the conversation is not mentioned here for reasons of abusive content but you, the smart reader can more or less imagine the rest of it.)

A regular conversation on a regular bright sunny day took a nasty turn for the 30-something wife.

She was eager to meet this friend. She was eager to have long talks with this fun friend. She would make him feel like a member of the house, and not a guest. Then why, why was it necessary for her to cook a meal for him to please him? Since he was just coming for the evening, why couldn’t they have that one meal at a restaurant? Wouldn’t it be better if they could talk about movies, and the economy, and work, and life over a meal served to them by angels called restaurant chefs?

Because. If they were to stay at home, things would be a little different. She would be busy making food two hours prior to his arrival. When he would come, she would sit with him for a few minutes only to be interrupted by the soup boiling on the stove. And then she would lay the table with bright new crockery and all the delicious recipes. When everything's ready, the men would make an appearance at the table. She would serve them. He would say all the wonderful things in the world about her food that he is still licking off his fingers. The wife would be delighted. The husband would be proud.
 
And then the two men would get up and head to the couch to continue their heated discussion about how the last basketball game could have been better if only Derrick Rose was back in the game. And the wife would gather up the dishes and wash them in the sink. Then after just an hour, she would also join the men where the friend would ask her about her life and how she is doing. Few more minutes and the friend would announce that it was time for him to leave. Goodbyes and see yous. The friend would offer genuine thanks to the wife. And a couple of nice meeting yous later, the friend would leave.
As stated before, if they were to stay at home, things would be only a little different.

And leave the wife wondering – “when did I actually meet the friend I was so eagerly waiting for amidst the mini tornado in the kitchen?!”

It brought her to thinking. Would it be such a bad thing if the wife proposed to go out for dinner instead of cooking at home? Would it be such a terrible idea if the wife asked to have a quality discussion over ready-made restaurant food? Would it be awfully sinful if she refused to spend half a day in the kitchen and instead preferred to actually chat and be friendly to the friend?

The husband said that it is good Indian tradition and values to greet a guest with food. The wife denied saying no to that. Maybe she did say no to being the provider of the food, but she didn’t say no to food per se. Maybe she wanted to use the excuse of the friend to escape what she did anyway for everyday of the week. Would that make her a terrible wife? And a terrible host?

So maybe, after the meal, the husband would be deprived of the words, “You have an amazing and caring wife back there. I had a great time with you guys!” Maybe he would have to hear “Your wife is amazing to talk to. She is fun to hang out with! I had a great time with you guys!”
Now, would THAT be such a horrible thing?

Why, thought the wife, is it necessary to prove to every outsider that she is a responsible and good wife? Why can’t this be reserved for the husband himself? Why does she have to prove her cooking skills and her multi-tasking talents to every friend and every relative? Isn’t it proven from the healthy and not-at-all-pale-and-not-sickly looks of the husband?

But the wife dare not say such words aloud, lest she may be labeled a feminist.
She would rather call her friends for dinner. And then she would ask the husband to get down on his fours and do a 100 push-ups so she can also show off to her friends what a wonderful man she has! J

Disclaimer: ‘The husband’, ‘the wife’ and 'the friend' in this article are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely co-incidental.

10 comments:

  1. I understand it perfectly. I appreciate what you have penned down.

    ReplyDelete
  2. All this to not cook one meal? OMG! kalyug hain bhai...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who is this friend? Everyone wishes to know.

      Delete
    2. @Shashaank: You ask about 'the friend' as if you already have figured out who 'the husband' and 'the wife' are :/

      @Ronak: You still don't get it, do you?

      Delete
  3. Best title chosen for the story.. Perfect example how men differ in thoughts from women..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Ashi: :):)
      @Divs: You noticed the silliness of the title!!! Awesomeness is you ! :)

      Delete
  4. after reading this and your other pieces, i must belatedly say that you write well. We will try to be husbands who will chop the veggies in the kitchen and do the push-ups in the morning :)

    ReplyDelete