Loneliness and Aloneness: although similar in meaning in the dictionaries, there is a vast difference between the implications of these two words in real life.
Loneliness is a negative state of mind. Aloneness is positive. Loneliness is a state of mind when you are constantly missing the other. Aloneness is when you are constantly delighted in yourself, with yourself. Loneliness is miserable, aloneness is blissful. Loneliness is always worried, missing something, hankering for something, desiring for something. Aloneness is deep fulfilment, tremendously content, happy and celebrating.
In loneliness, you are off-centre. In aloneness you are rooted and centered. Aloneness is beautiful. It has elegance around it, a grace, a climate of tremendous satisfaction. Loneliness is beggarly, with no grace.
Loneliness is dependence. Aloneness is sheer independence.
I strongly believe that one should first come to terms with one’s own loneliness before entering into a relationship (And when I say ‘relationship’, I do not just mean boyfriend-girlfriend. EVERY relation is a relationship) This loneliness has to be transformed into aloneness. Only then will one be capable of moving into a deep enriching relationship.
Moving into a relationship to overcome loneliness means exploiting the other. The other becomes a means to satisfy you. And when you yourself can’t be enough for yourself, there’s hardly anything anyone else can do for you. You will use the other and everybody resents being used, because no man is here to become a means for anybody else. Every man is an end unto himself. Nobody is here to be used like a thing; everybody is here to be worshipped like a king. Nobody is here to fulfil anybody else’s expectations; everybody is here just to be himself.
Important to remember is that when you move from your loneliness to fall in a relationship, then that somebody will be in the same plight. Because no man who is really living his aloneness will be attracted towards you.
First become alone.
First start enjoying yourself.
First become so authentically happy that if somebody may fail to provide that happiness to you, it doesn’t matter.
Become full and overflowing yourself and then move into a relationship.
Loneliness is a negative state of mind. Aloneness is positive. Loneliness is a state of mind when you are constantly missing the other. Aloneness is when you are constantly delighted in yourself, with yourself. Loneliness is miserable, aloneness is blissful. Loneliness is always worried, missing something, hankering for something, desiring for something. Aloneness is deep fulfilment, tremendously content, happy and celebrating.
In loneliness, you are off-centre. In aloneness you are rooted and centered. Aloneness is beautiful. It has elegance around it, a grace, a climate of tremendous satisfaction. Loneliness is beggarly, with no grace.
Loneliness is dependence. Aloneness is sheer independence.
I strongly believe that one should first come to terms with one’s own loneliness before entering into a relationship (And when I say ‘relationship’, I do not just mean boyfriend-girlfriend. EVERY relation is a relationship) This loneliness has to be transformed into aloneness. Only then will one be capable of moving into a deep enriching relationship.
Moving into a relationship to overcome loneliness means exploiting the other. The other becomes a means to satisfy you. And when you yourself can’t be enough for yourself, there’s hardly anything anyone else can do for you. You will use the other and everybody resents being used, because no man is here to become a means for anybody else. Every man is an end unto himself. Nobody is here to be used like a thing; everybody is here to be worshipped like a king. Nobody is here to fulfil anybody else’s expectations; everybody is here just to be himself.
Important to remember is that when you move from your loneliness to fall in a relationship, then that somebody will be in the same plight. Because no man who is really living his aloneness will be attracted towards you.
First become alone.
First start enjoying yourself.
First become so authentically happy that if somebody may fail to provide that happiness to you, it doesn’t matter.
Become full and overflowing yourself and then move into a relationship.
Super Philosophy...hard to digest but was awesome thought..i totally agree with u n thanx for making it a clear point for me..
ReplyDeletei learnt...keep it up...
gosh atu...that was really moving and worth considering! infact the moment dependence on any person in this world increases we fall into big trouble..!
ReplyDeleteneways nice article..
Hehe...Ankit, with you, I always feel like we are exchanging roles of Guru and Shishya...sometimes I speak some sense and you listen to me in great awe and sometimes you preach and I listen with a few gasps here and there...
ReplyDeleteYayy ! You learnt something ! Coz even I did while writing it myself ! :)
Thanks Gotu :):)
ReplyDeleteGlad you agreed with it. In fact, only the ones who are truly happy and content with themselves agree with this viewpoint. So yay us! ;) lol
And yes, I totally agree that when one starts depending on the other, we definitely end up sad and troubled but also, the other person has so much pressure on him/her to meet our expectations ! :O
I love this article. Reminds me of the saying ' Before you say I love you, you must first learn to say the I '
ReplyDeleteThis is indeed thought provoking. Especially the part, "Moving into a relationship to overcome loneliness means exploiting the other." Awesome stuff!! :-)
ReplyDelete@ Rehab: Thanks :)
ReplyDeleteBut I didn't quite understand your comment..is it only half published?
@ Himanshu: Thanks so much! :)
ReplyDeleteHey BTW, I read your blog too..nice posts...will comment so you believe that I really did like them :)