What Love is.....not!

My 12 year old friend ‘fell in love’. She thought he was her everything and in her dreams, even got married to him. Love obviously wasn’t what they felt. Her heart broke. Crying continuously for days and then dipping her face into foundation to cover the dark circles became routine for her. When she wasn’t doing either of the two, she would call me and ask me what love was (ya right! Like I am a walking thesaurus!)

My thinking buds were awakened. After thinking a lot and a little more, I realised that I, too didn’t know what love was. But I had a faint idea of what love was not!

Love is not ‘never having to say sorry’. It’s quite the opposite. It means learning to say you are sorry when you are wrong (if you are a man, then even when you are right!) It’s not romantic candlelight dinners because candles leave many messy blobs on expensive tablecloth. It also isn’t automatically eternal as wise men have claimed. In fact, to make it last, one will have to put in a great deal of work, not in bed, but in utterly unromantic places such as kitchens and bathrooms.

Love is not what makes the world go round. That’s gravity. If you are getting dizzy spells, do not mistake yourself to be in love. Just consult a neurologist.

It’s also not what we see in the movies. In reel life, there are songs and dances after which the hard work, complications and messy bits start surfacing before they are magically solved. In real life, however, these complications do not disappear. They tend to generally get tougher and messier.

Love is not canoodling on the sea-face rocks. That’s hormones. And the moral police. Cheap thrills can be exciting, yes, but they can also be expensive. Because if the constable doesn’t get you, the rising tide might.

What I know is that love is wonderful. It may not be the hottest thing around, but it is warm. It is not something as exotic as passion but something as ordinary as caring and as boring as respect. It also involves a good usage of the heart and the head (yes, both! It can be demanding, you know!)

Love is not about diamonds but it is about what the diamonds signify. They start as a lump of coal, but require loads of time and energy and lots of cuts and bruises to bring out the sparkle. Love actually is like that only.

On contemplation, understanding rocket science or solving the Kashmir problem would have been easier.